Today I'm going to do my best to tackle a hard subject, a most difficult one. But when the president of the most influential country in the western world brags about sexually assaulting women, maybe it’s time we had this conversation.
I am talking about sexual harassment and recommending that you watch six very short videos, part of a new campaign called #thatsharassment.
Click here. Watch all six.
After I read this Parents Magazine article about these videos and watched them in their entirety, I felt I had to tell you about them.
Film director Sigal Avin and actor David Schwimmer of Friends fame have produced these videos portraying what sexual harassment looks like in 2017.
I had seen only the first half of the very first video, and already there were spiders under my skin. It was like I had crawled into the skin of that young women. Watching all of them, one right after the other, I needed a shower. It was like had I been thrust into each and every situation, and could remember what it felt like. Reading further into the article I was not surprised to learn that most women (not “some” women, or “a few” women, but “most” women) can identify.
I am an older woman now, and have gracefully and gratefully passed into the stage of “invisibility” mentioned by Margaret Trudeau in the book I recommended in my last blog post. (The Time of Your Life). There is a certain freedom in that. I no longer have to totally be on my guard.
But before we go on, let’s have a look at the videos in the order they are presented in the article.
In Video #1, it’s a young woman’s first day on the job at a bar. Her male co-worker is showing her all about how the men will come onto her—in graphic detail.
Video #2 has a woman who is some kind of a wardrobe or costume person for a famous movie star. She is naturally star-struck that day, and trying to do her best, until he reveals all to her.
In Video #3 we move to an office where a married boss comes on to a young, new female admin assistant.
Video #4 has a doctor “examining” a female patient.
In Video #5, a young woman (Oh, she looks SO young) involved in a photoshoot of some kind, is asked to do some things she feels very uncomfortable with. In my opinion, this is the scariest one, because at the end, it cuts away to all of the people watching, all complicit in his instructions.
A woman journalist is interviewing a famous politician in Video #6. He asks her to turn off the tape, and then he tries to come on to her. But, she needs that interview. She needs that article.
I think what struck me about all of these were the subtleness of the suggestions. These were not lewd, greasy, horrid men, these appeared to be sort of nice guys. If it ended up being a “he-said she-said" in court they would probably win. And the women, all who want to keep their jobs, know this.
First there is the nervous laugh—women have that "nervous laugh" down pat, don't they? These same women probably went home thinking, “Did that really happen? No. Maybe it didn't." And then imperceptibly shoving the blame onto themselves.
In most of these videos it’s powerful men, and the women who work for them who “want to keep their jobs and so they must go along.”
Sadly, in recent days we’ve seen this. The most recent fallout goes to Bill O'Reilly one of Fox News greatest assets. He lost his job after a number of women came forward to accuse him of doing just this.
And before him, Roger Ailes also of Fox News. And before him Bill Cosby.
But lest you think it's just a Fox News thing, or an American thing, and that we are who live in Canada are somehow immuned to this, may I remind you of Jian Ghomeshi, who was once the darling boy of CBC. As well, there have been long and ongoing investigations into sexual harassment in Canada’s military and RCMP.
Yes, our military who are admired all over the world, as well as our RCMP.
"Is it okay?" the office boss in Video #3 continually asks. “It is okay? No hard feelings? We're okay? We're good?"
Nervous laugh. “It’s okay.”
“You sure it’s okay.” Sad voice. Contrite voice.
No. It's not okay.
I applaud Sigal Avin and David Schwimmer for tackling this project, and I would hope that these videos are shown in HR programs throughout the country.
(Interesting sidebar: The man who brags about sexually assaulting women, complete with lewd x-rated language, gets elected president. The man he was talking to from Access Hollywood, gets fired. What's wrong with this picture?)
My one complaint with the videos? They are not Closed Captioned. They need to be.
Next Time: A look at hoarding, in a compelling new novel, The House We Grew Up In.